He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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