idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
People in love make me want to vomit
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
