So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I am mentally ready for anal.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
