Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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