why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
