I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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