oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
