My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
