Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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