Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
