if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
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I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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