Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
