He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
