lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
