i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
