cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
