So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
