That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
