I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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