Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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