My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
