Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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