I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
