So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
