i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
