If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize