careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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