What did we do last night that was yellow?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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