i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
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So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
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So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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