Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
