I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize