So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize