with your own penis?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
