so explain again why im purple
no
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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