i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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