bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Still dying that you shit outside
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
