i jhust puked up my retainher.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
