At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
