hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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