Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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