she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize