im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
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we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
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I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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