Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
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I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
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First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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