im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
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