Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
