She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
