I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
