At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
