shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
