just come out here and I will go home with you...
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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