Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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