idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize